His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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