Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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