Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
