it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
