We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
