I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
