Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
