Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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