i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
3pm strippers are depressing
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
