Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
