I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize