So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
