is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
