Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
