Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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