pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
