So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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