it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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