i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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