i was born a porn star she said
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
