Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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