I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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