My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
My hand turned me down
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
