3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
