i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize