i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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