Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Congratulations! We have a period
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