Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
