I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
