we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
