were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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