1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Randomize
