I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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