I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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