Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
