The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
