She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
