just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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