nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
