Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
and she was petting her beer can
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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