That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
