Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
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