I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
