After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
