oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
We got so high we made milksteak
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
