i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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