This girl is more easily done than said...
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
