We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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