i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
