i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Couch. On fire.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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