At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
