my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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