Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize