I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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