That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
