I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
