I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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