I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize