That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
