hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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