I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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